The Every 15 Minutes program is a powerful high school educational experience designed to help students understand the dangers and potentially life-altering consequences of drinking and driving, distracted driving, and drug abuse. The program encourages students to recognize how their choices can have devastating consequences, not only for themselves but also for their families, friends, and communities.
Last school year, my son was honored to be selected to participate in this program. As part of the experience, my wife and I were invited to read personal letters to him in front of the school. Sharing those heartfelt words publicly was an incredibly emotional and vulnerable experience for both of us.
Recently, I received criticism regarding some of the remarks I made during that event. Given the deeply personal nature of the experience, I believe it is important that my words be understood in their full context rather than through isolated statements.
With that in mind, I am sharing below my complete, unedited statement from the Every 15 Minutes program so that anyone interested can read my words in their entirety and understand the heart and intention behind them.
Dear TJ,
Every 15 minutes someone in the U.S. is either killed or seriously injured in an impaired/distracted driving related collision. Hearing that you died means I never had the chance to tell you…how deeply I love you.
Thinking of you gone from this world gives me great sorrow. I wish I could see you one more time, hear your voice and the music you created, listen to you talk about your latest song and ideas, hunt with you in the outdoors you loved so much, or just sit with you in one more ordinary moment… because now I understand those moments were never ordinary.
Your life displayed steadiness. Quiet, but strong.
I think about your past – the way you led on the football field as a quarterback, the determination you showed as a running back and, on the track, the skill and passion you brought to the soccer field. I think about your focus and discipline in the woods, becoming a steady, skilled shot, and how you led in Trail Life, setting an example and encouraging others in character and faith. And then, sitting at the piano, creating beautiful music with so much creativity and then jamming on the electric guitar and drums. God gave you so many gifts, and you used them in a way that made people respect you, not just for what you could do, but for who you were.
I admire how you never wanted to take the easy way out of situations. It seemed doing the minimum was never an option in your mind.
But what stands out the most to me isn’t just your talent and determination – it’s your perseverance wrapped in your faith.
You went through trials that most people will never fully understand. The kind that could have broken someone. The kind that could have led to anger or depression, especially when you couldn’t do the things you loved to do like sports and music.
But you didn’t give up.
You held on.
You leaned into your faith when life didn’t make sense. When things were taken from you, you didn’t turn away from or blame God. You clung to Him. You lived out a quiet strength that showed what real faith looks like.
I wish I told you more about how proud I am of you. Not just for your accomplishments – but for your heart, your resilience, and your faith.
James 1:17 says “Every good and perfect gift is from above,” and you were one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received from God.
Thinking of you gone from this world brings sorrow, but just as you lived holding onto God’s promises when life didn’t make sense, I will also strive to do the same.
Jesus told us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Although in grief it’s hard to see comfort, I know it will follow after the sorrow. Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, and our belief in Him, death is not a goodbye forever. In the future, we will once again be together in heaven.
So, when I have another moment with you, I will hug you tighter and tell you what I assumed you already knew…
I love you more than words can say.
I feel so blessed to have known you.
I am so proud of you.
And I thank God that I got to call you – my son.
Until I see you again, I will carry your life, your strength, and the hope we have in Christ.
Your legacy will live on.
Love always, Dad
